Oscar Night, 2007

Just a few thoughts while watching the Oscars...by myself...in Oh-Hell-No.

Cate Blanchett's dark bronze, 1 shoulder gown - completely bedazzled and totally flawless.

Naomi Watts looked a little self-conscious in the empire-waisted, yellow tube-top thingy she shrugged herself into.

Nicole Kidman looked...tall. And red. And ready to unwrap.

Then there was Penelope Cruz's pink, form-fitting bodice with bathroom rug train...loved it.

Vacuous red carpet "reporter" introducing Eddie Murphy...and 'his date'? This isn't prom.

Reece Witherspoon...black is slimming...you don't need slimming...eat a doughnut.

Kate Winslett...fabulous in a simple mint drape...and on her fifth nomination!

Helen Mirren stunningly elegant in silver/gold Lacroix. Queen of the World!

I liked Jennifer Hudson's brown gown, but didn't care for the silver shrug thing she wore on the way in; it made her look like a half-opened can of sardines.

Abigail Breslin - the cutest...

...and Cameron Diaz? Not drunk! Good for her!

I loved the opening film montage of nominees and their candid comments; Clint Eastwood - '[why are we here?] Best picture, best director...things like that'

Adriana was sportin' some rocks! Go Mexico!

Ellen's monologue was pretty funny - No rhyme or reason to the Oscar nominations - "Jennifer Hudson - on Idol, America didn't vote for her - and Al Gore -America did vote for him."

"Without blacks, jews, & gay, there would be no Oscars." Or, if there were, there would be no acting, no money, and no clothes/hair?

It wasn't until 15 minutes into the ceremony that Nicole Kidman & Daniel Craig (yum) finally presented the 1st award - Art Direction for my favorite movie of 2007, "Pan's Labyrinth".

The second award - Make-up...went to..."Pan's Labyrinth", but not until after we were subjected to 2+ minutes of Will Ferrell and Jack Black...singing? They get to sing about...not getting Oscars...about not being nominated...and people who actually win only get 30 seconds? This thing isn't going to end until Thursday.

I liked co-stars Kinnear and Carrell co-presenting, even if just for best sound editing.

Rachel Weisz looked fantastic with her bobbed hair and jewel-trimmed, platinum sheath, giving Alan Arkin the Best Supporting Actor award for "Little Miss Sunshine"!

Al Gore's "important announcement" to the world getting cut-off by the end-of-speech music - very "inconvenient", very funny.

I loved Emily and Anne presenting Best Costume Design together - "Hello Meryl".

Yeah! Best Costume, "Marie Antoinette"; 18th Century clothing inspired by candy.

Was it very right or very wrong for Gwyneth Paltrow to present Best Cinematography in a see -through top? No worries - another Oscar for "Pan's Labyrinth"!

Ellen getting Spielberg to take a photo of her and Eastwood - brilliant.

Stupid Mastercard elephant commercial made me a little misty-eyed.

The internationalism of the nominees this year was an improvement, with presentations by Catherine Deneuve and Ken Wanatabe, nominations for actors from Spain, France, Mexico, Japan, and Great Britain; accents and back-patting from all over the planet. All that, but "Pan's Labyrinth" still wasn't nominated for Best Picture outright.

Then, Best Foreign Film award was presented by brits Cate Blanchett and Clive Owen - "The Lives of Others". Rats! Oh, well, "Pan's Labyrinth" still has 3 Oscars...

...followed by the Pilobolus interpretation of "Snakes on a Plane"...and the promise of Celine Dion...that's it...I'm outta here...I can't stay up any later.

(Hey...where was Brand-jolina?)