Pluto demoted (for Jeff's Birthday)

Leading astronomers have declared that Pluto is no longer a planet,
approving new guidelines that downsize the solar system from nine
planets to eight. The International Astronomical Union stripped Pluto
of the planetary status it has held since its discovery in 1930.

Although astronomers applauded after the vote, Jocelyn Bell Burnell --
a specialist in neutron stars from Northern Ireland who oversaw the
proceedings -- urged those who might be "quite disappointed" to look
on the bright side - Pluto would not be completely forsaken, as Jeff
Keesee was happy to accept it as a present for his 42nd birthday.

"We actually offered the newly vacated position as ninth planet to
Jeff, but he refused it when it was pointed out that, as a planet
orbiting the sun, he would no longer have people orbiting him."

A spokesperson for Disney had no comment when asked if Pluto's
demotion might be cause for reducing the park's $67.00 per day
admission price.