The government and my pearl jam...

Despite objections, FDA set to implement new rules rejecting gay men as anonymous sperm donors --- ajc.com

Sure, the government will take my money, but now they reject my sperm. That sucks - I can't make my own money!

At first, I thought I was going get all up in arms and blog something like "no surprise; why think that this should be any different than discriminating against gay men about blood donation", but then I went to the Red Cross website and couldn't find any guideline against homosexuals donating.

Wow! I got a little excited! This document didn't list "high risk behaviors" (one of which was being homosexual) as being cause for ineligibility for blood donation anymore. I hadn't donated blood since college because of that exclusion. Can I donate again? Has the Red Cross stopped discriminating based on who I like? Is the Red Cross more enlightened than the US government?

Well, no. A follow-up phone call to the Red Cross** confirmed that "high risk" was still grounds for ineligibility and the web document must be incorrect. The girl on the phone tried to be nice - "I think it's a bad rule, and you can still donate if you want and not tell them." You mean I can donate if I don't march into the blood bank with a big, pink triangle pinned to my lapel and scream "who wants this mary's tonsil tadpoles?"

Thanks for the support, you "don't ask, don't tell" blood-sucking fascist - and, by the way, "them" is "you".

So now I'm all up in arms - according to the Red Cross website, they've been testing donated blood for HIV and (presumably) excluding gay men as donors since 1985. No one's been able to change that in 20 years, so no one should have any delusions that this newest FDA ruling can be overturned.

Swingers can donate. People who have sex with African monkeys can donate. Men who have unprotected sex with dirty-needle sharing HIV+ hookers can baby-batter-up.

Congressman Barney Frank can't do it. Sigh.

All I can hope for is that GWB needs a kidney sometime in the near future, and that I'm the one and only match on earth, and I will have to say "sorry Dub-ya, I'd love to give you one of my kidneys, but it's illegal."

Oooo, that feels better...

**The phone number for questions about donating blood is 800 GIVE-LIFE. I guess 800 NO-HOMOS was already taken...