Compliance - Plant at Sunset

I've never told my reader exactly what I'm doing in Ohio. Most people couldn't tell you why they are here in the midwest (believe me, I've asked), but I can.

I'm making fiberglass.

My company is helping to start-up a brand new plant (the old one burned to the ground - quelle surprise) that heats the raw material to 2100 degrees, drops it into a [non-disclosure agreement], and spits out glass cotton candy...light and feathery...like angel poo.

That's what I do for about 13 hours a day; the rest of my day is spent going to the gym (where I finally found all the cute people in northwest Ohio - they both work-out at the YMCA) or entertaining customers.

Last night I took them to "Jewell Cafe" ("you can't miss it; it's across the street from the grain elevator and next to the railroad tracks"). It's the "best restaurant" in the area.

"Best" = largest beef selection in the county.

The menu read exactly like the beer choices at my favorite math-impaired restaurant - the steaks came in 8 oz, 16 oz, or 24 oz sizes, plus the best-value, colon-choking 30 oz. slab.

So I got to wondering; what else weighs 30 ounces?

- 1 Adult Guinea Pig
- 16 Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts
- 21 baby chicks
- 150 quarters
- 38,250 papaya seeds
- $114,000 worth of cocaine

How much would it cost to send this steak into orbit on the Space Shuttle?

$18,750

I had the salad (it came with bacon on it.)