Addiction

Mary-Kate, Robert Jr, Whitney, Joaquin, Donatella, Halle; all the cool people have an addiction. I felt left out.

Until now.

This morning I heard a story on Joyce Meyer's book "Approval Addiction". In it, she stated "so many people today have an unhealthy need for affirmation and are unable to feel good about themselves without it".

I totally have that! I'm "in"! "Step 1" is getting an addiction!

I know my friends roll their eyes if they know I have a new project or accomplishment, because they know I'll be dragging stuff out for their approval - "look at this photo!", "read my latest blog", "come hear this new CD I bought", "I'm throwing a party for you". I want them to like my stuff. I want them to like me.

I blame my parents.

As a kid, I always wanted to get good grades - for them. I couldn't wait to run home and show them my report card. Their approval made me happy and made me want to get good grades, but getting good grades to measure parents' approval is not the same as getting them to measure "success". I mean, the result is good - I succeeded in life - because the addiction (yay! my addiction!) translates well to life - getting your boss's approval gets you paid - but I have to be conscious not to let people's approval/disapproval dictate my happiness.

I have a job to make money (and maybe get some satisfaction), but not to be happy.

This all got triggered this morning before work. I was listening to TV and heard about the book at the same time I trapped a gigantic spider in the foyer. I was thinking about "approval addiction" while driving with the spider next to me in a tupperware container to show everyone at work.

So...I also blame Elementary School...I've never gotten over the impulse to find something to show at "school"; I'm stuck in 2nd Grade and if I bring something really cool they will all like me.

My addiction - I have Show-and-Tell Syndrome.

(I hope you liked this blog...and the spider IS kick-ass huge...and really really hope everyone likes my new addiction).